Two candles
Burning together
Reading 18.

I spent my last birthday in another state,
Sobbing on an inflatable mattress.
If you’d asked me then
I’d say I never thought I’d make it to another.

Cry, a pond of your own tears.
Stare through the reflection
Into the soul of whom you’ve become.

Are you proud?
Is it you—
Are you satisfied?
(You know you’d never be satisfied.)

Glare past the lost soul of that boy
Who still torments you.
Your first friend,
Your blood,
A ghost.
A promised reunion
Squandered the same day
The treaty was signed.
You never did properly say goodbye.

Tear through the mask
Of the shadow looming over your shoulder.
One you once lived in
One you finally broke through.
Humble mask maker
Thriving wherever you reside—
Your visage is not one for me.

Disregard the choir,
Who cry out a discordant melody.
Bass, treble, alto—
Don’t let their coda
Send you reeling back into
Your own solemn reprisal
Of them you left to die.

Embrace your friends,
Those close and far.
To my faceless friends,
You know who you are,
Thank you.
Warm laughter was never far behind
In the hours spent with you all.
I could’ve been doing drugs,
Or committing crimes,
Or whatever else kids these days do.
Yet, I never treaded those dark roads.
Thanks to the kindness of strangers
I have the honor to know as friends.

Look into the eyes of your love.
You,
What can I say to You I haven’t said before?
Everyday I’m happier and happier
That I didn’t back out that very first day
That little check up call,
Set off this atom bomb.
And now
Here we are.

There’s solace in knowing I’ll never stare into the pond alone again, and it’s no use to dwell on a reflection that no lingers show who I am.

I had a good childhood all things considered, a few traumas, a tragedy every now and again— all par for the course isn’t it?

I didn’t kill myself, I didn’t die in some horrible accident.

I had good parents, hard as they were at times… I’m old enough to see now that they always had my best interest at heart – I love them for it.

My cousin, I’m still upset about how we were separated. I was promised the freedom to reunite with you when I turned 18… yet now it’s far too late.

My sister, I’ve come to terms with why you left. I don’t like how you did it, but I can’t imagine how different life would be if you didn’t.

My love, need I even say it? All of this, all of me is a direct result of you. You made me who I am today, I started writing because of you, I stuck around because of you… I hope this will be just another major milestone in the life I wish to share with you.

Dancing in the dark,
‘til we fall apart.
Rest eternally.